my tiny valentine

On Valentine's day Amy (of Amy Major's Photography) came to our house and took some memorable pictures of mommy and son.  Asher was pretty sad/moody the whole time, but the pictures still are adorable. The totally captured "him" -the normal, everyday faces he had the whole month of February. The woman has talent. (or maybe I'm biased to my handsome son, lol!) It was a fun first valentine's mommy-son "date".

raising our little man

These and other thoughts have been rolling around like marbles in my head. I have been wanting to gather these marbles for weeks now, so I can sort them and ponder the philosophy/theology behind them. And then put them to use.

I feel that raising a Little Man may be a slightly different than raising a girl (to some extent). But with either we want and pray to raise a leader, strong, steady, secure and rooted, gospel-centered child of God.  We want him to desire to know more of His Creator Savior. We want to teach him to be a kind, compassionate, tender, loving person who is caring to all humanity; to show genuine interest in others. We want him to thrive as a good communicator. Our list of hopes and dreams for his little life could go on and on.

Little Mr. is so privileged to have a godly, steady, and loving Daddy in his life. And he has also been blessed with a rare treasure of very wise and godly Grandpa's. He has multiple men in his immediate family whose example is worthy of imitation. We are so grateful.  We will urge him to study these people (including Auntie's and Uncles) closely, and learn from them. God has richly blessed his heritage.

Like any other mommy of a little boy- I want to protect him, shield him from hurt and pain. I don't ever want him to climb too high and fall, or peddle too fast and skin a knee, or jump down and split his lip, but all of this comes along with the territory I hear. I'm sure we'll make it through; but I will be praying for extra protection over him quite often I'm sure. (Being raised in a house with four girls didn't exactly prepare me for these types of things)!  :-)

One area I would like to be careful in is reprimanding and, if needed, giving consequences. Punishing my Small Man with respect is very important to me.  I want to love and punish/reprimand him, even at his early age, with respect. I took note in this area from a friend. Her son knows she is in charge, and she is the mommy, but also that she cares enough about his emotions and manhood to carefully, privately and patiently punish him. She try's to take him to a different room (to not shame him openly), it's between just the two of them. They discuss with words what happened, what his heart was feeling/doing, what Jesus wants him to do, and as necessary gives a consequence to him. And I think doing it like this protects his manhood, and teaches him to deal with confrontations in privet, and deals openly with his heart before Jesus. (This will also serve him well if he marries one day). Because Jesus alone can change his heart. Sure it takes extra time and effort, but I think it's worth it. I want to use these techniques with our son.

This next area is a little bit more of a 'teetry' subject: ways we as parents misunderstand our children. (I linked the article I read). For the most part Charlie and I would agree with this list. Our main underlying difference from the article is that we worship God- not our child. We will teach them that they are being trained to worship God alone, and we are helping them develop a heart that will desire to be under God's authority alone. BUT, that said, we still want to tenderly care and love them, treat them as real human beings and as values members of our family, not just as our "underling child". Another difference is the self esteem issue- a child should be rewarded for their real accomplishment (however small it is, if it was their best), not be deluded by praising/rewarding them for bad or mediocre behavior.  But those things aside- these things are so important to remember as a parent. I think it's contradictory to what many christian parent practice. (I feel all too often parents fall too heavy on the authoritarian, "I'm the parent, do it because I say" side). Here's the list, but click the link to the article for further explanation:

1. We expect children to be able to do things before they are ready.

2. We become angry when a child fails to meet our needs.

3. We mistrust the child's motives.

4. We don't allow children to be children.

5. We get it backwards.

6. We blame and criticize when a child makes a mistake.

7. We forget how deeply blame and criticism can hurt a child.

8. We forget how healing loving actions can be.

9. We forget that our behavior provides the most potent lessons to the child.

10. We see only the outward behavior, not the love and good intentions inside the child.

I've also noticed that parents who also tend to lean towards "authoritarian" often unknowingly provoke the child to anger. I ran across a blog post about this subject, and it's worth reading in it's entirety.  And another helpful book for me in this area was Grace Based Parenting, I posted about Grace Based living if  ya wanna read more.

In the post she quotes a list of ways we provoke our children to anger. But what I found very helpful was her "take off-put on" (like Ephesians 4:22-24 encourages) list: (I'm just listing my favorites here)

- By encouraging them and letting them know how pleased and delighted we are with them. By pointing out the grace of God in their daily life.

- By setting an example in our daily walk with the Lord. Modeling humility. By expecting the same standard out of ourselves as we do out of our children.

- By being loving and brokenhearted when they sin. By sacrificing our own comfort and to-do list for the day to bring them back to fellowship with us and the family. By reacting to their sin with a concern for their soul.

- By honoring them privately and, on occasion, publicly.

- By listening to their side and hearing the heart underneath.

- By bearing with their weaknesses and childishness. By being consistent in discipline for sin.

- By asking for forgiveness when we sin against them.

- By remembering who we were and who we are: fellow sinners with our children and (hopefully) co-heirs of Jesus with them as well.

I hope that you find these things worth pondering and praying over today. And together, with you guys, Charlie and I are praying for wisdom and grace as we raise our child(ren).


hugs! And much grace. 

I heart my men

I'm so very thankful for these two. My amazing, loving, forgiving, hunky husband. And my chunky, happy, precious Littlest Man.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Asher highlights (weeks 16 & 17)

Tiny Muffin, 16 weeks

Week 16

Week 16

Highlights from your 16th week of life (1.30.11 - 2.5.11)

• Asher, this week you've spent most of the week trying to recover from your icky cold. You still have a cough and stuffy/runny nose. But no more fevers. Because of the cold you've gotten up 1-2 times a night to get a drink and be comforted. That's alright Little Buddy, mommy doesn't mind at all; I just want you to get better. Daddy doesn't always hear you when you wake up at night anymore! (Him being able to tune you out is actually a good thing, so he can get some good rest). And he's not bothered at all by your crying now, he talks to you and sings to you and often "rescues" you when mommy has made you really mad.  
• You have been very mellow, and just relaxed a lot around the house, watching us do stuff. You haven't needed to be held a whole lot extra.
• This week you have enjoyed listening to us read stories to you. You will sit on our laps for 5-20 minutes at a time now and look at the pictures.  We've read all the way through one on your children's Bible's and we've started a new one. You like books with lots of color in it. 
• We bought you a Johnny Jumper this week. You like standing in it and moving your legs and being able to look from room to room. You really like your doorway, from there you can see your room, the bathroom, the hall and into the living room. You haven't started jumping or bouncing in it yet, but I'm sure that'll come soon. You like it when I bounce you a little though.
• You have a tiny giggle! Whenever we play patty-cake (and clap your hands) or mousey's-gonna-get-ya you go crazy. HUGE smiles, squeals, usually followed by your new found giggle! We LOVE having fun with you. And these types of games or songs distract you now when you're mad/upset/crying.  
• You've been wanting to go to bed pretty early, around 8:15-8:45. 
• We set up your new crib! You don't sleep in the pack 'n play anymore. It was a seamless transition. 
• Mommy picked out material for curtains for your room, and also some art for your walls. The main colors will be an orange/red color with grey.
• Friday night Mommy and Daddy went to a wedding and Miss Andrea came to stay with you (you slept the whole time!)- good boy
• Saturday we went to church as a family for the first time since you were born. YAY! It was so nice to be back in corporate worship. You liked looking and smiling at the people around us and listening to the music. You of course got squirmy fussy when the message started so we went to the back and mommy put you in the Maya Sling and you were quiet so I could listen. (You couldn't be in the nursery because of your cold). 
• You have noticed the handsome little boy in the mirror! -We stand you in front of the mirror and you look for a second and then spot your face and a huge smile and giggle and squeals break out. It's pretty cute Little Mr. I don't think you realize it's you yet though. 

____________________________________________________________________________

Captain Cute Week 17

Week 17

Highlights from your 17th week of life (2.6.11 - 2.12.11)

• Sunday was your first Super Bowl. We had our whole small group over to enjoy the game together. You really enjoyed watching all the people and were especially gregarious about your busy little friends William, Rayven and Raylynn. The Stealers lost (which is all daddy cared about), this means the Packers won- that's fine, but we're Vikings fans. You were/are intensely absorbed by everything going on around you.
• You still have a bit of a stuffy nose, but are getting SO much better. You're more interactive again.
• We've been practicing your bottle more, you're getting better!
• Mommy made you curtains! And the walls in your room aren't so bare. Perfect timing, since you spend more and more time studying everything (colors and textures and movement) around you.
• Daddy calls you shmuvo sometimes and mommy doesn't like that very much.
• On 2.7.11 you have your 4 month wellness check. Doctor Miller says you're a very healthy little boy! Your stat's were: 18lbs, 12oz (97%+), 26 3/8" tall (90-97%), and your head was 17 1/4" around (75-90%). You didn't get any shots because you were still sick-ish. 
• We've started to practice sleeping out of the woombie during naps. You like your tummy. (I think your arms don't wake you up that way). We're also going to try to give you a bottle right before bed instead of nursing. And try having Daddy (or others) put you to sleep, rather than just mommy every time.
• You are vocalizing like crazy- all kinds of sounds all the time. The ones you are using a lot sound like: "brrrrrrrrrrvvvvvvvvvvvv" or "darrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr" or "brrrrrrzzzbbbbbbbbbbb" or "daoooooooooo" and "grooooooooooo". 
• You play quite contentedly with your fingers and hands. You ahve started to hold a few things in your hands, like your green bean baby and your Kruse baby, sometimes a blankie.
• You like to have all of both hands in your mouth, but when you disover they don't really fit you most often have your two little fingers in there. (just like in the above pictures).  
• If we turn to look at you when you're playing by yourself, you notice that we're looking/smiling and you about turn inside out with delight from the attention. 
• Tummy time is not your favorite, but if we have books and toys around you you last about 8-15 minutes.
• On Saturday you found your screaming/happy voice. Daddy enjoy's scream/talking back at you, and it makes your super delighted. You look very proud of your little self! And it makes mommy laugh with amusement.

Our Happy Little Family

you can't read and sob

I really enjoy reading to Asher. It's a relaxing way to entertain him, teach him, love him, cuddle him, expose him to new things.

I had started a stash of all my favorite children's books years ago. I pulled them out today, because he likes to sit for longer periods of time now, listening and looking at pictures, sucking his fingers.

Today I discovered that mommies CAN NOT read and SOB at the same time.

It'd been forever since I'd read the book "Love you forever". ..Maybe since my little sisters were babies in the mid-90's. And seriously- there must be another (lighter!) version, because I don't remember EVER being moved to tears, let alone sobs while reading it to them.

Or, maybe things have changed that much in me now that I'm a mommy, holding my very own precious little (growing) baby boy. I got through the first two pages of this book and could hardly read the rest through my sniffing and wet face.  Asher must have been wondering what on earth was going on. I don't think we'll be reading that one every day. It's to poignant.

Emotions aside.  It's a FABULOUS BOOK.  And oh so very true.

I'll love your forever, 
I'll you for always,
As long as I'm living
my baby you'll be.


It's true Tiny Muffin. You'll always be my loved little baby boy. I'm trying to bask and drink in every single moment with you. These four months have already gone by too fast.

forwards, folk medicine and nosefrida?! =true?

So my mother is a self proclaimed "Vick's Vapo Rub" addict.
She likes to use it when she doesn't even have a cold. (for whatever reason).

Last week (when Asher's cold was yucky) she sent a forward to me- (*GASP!, SHOCK!- you all know how I dislike forwards), but it was rather on point with that weeks happenings so I read it.

It was about the wonders of vick's vapor rub. And it talked about how your feet absorb what they touch (this part I know is true- if you stand on garlic, soon you will be able to taste it- like within minutes). So anyway, "they" claimed that putting a thick layer of vick's on yours or your child's feet will relieve a cough within 30 minutes. They aren't sure why it works, but had something to do with the garlic sort of theory...

I tried it on Baby. (what could it hurt?)

It surprisingly worked (this time). He hasn't coughed since.
...And the smell reminded me of my childhood, LOL- thanks mom.

Try it, tell me if it works for you.

__________ONE MORE THING:

The Nose Frieda (a thing made in Sweden).

One thing I DID discover (thanks to dear Rosanna H.) is this weird little thing called a nosefrida! (had to order on Amazon)

Disgusting to wrap your head around. I mean really- who wants to think about sucking, ---let alone actually SUCKING out your child's snotty nose with your OWN LIPS!?

Loving mommy's go the whole distance to make their sick babies better, I tell ya.

This little contraption is fabulous, and Asher actually laughs  (sometimes) when I use it on him.  Maybe it's because I make a silly sound while I do it.

It's like TEN times better than the little blue bulb sucker.  Promise. Ya just have to get over the mental hurdle.

4 month Asher

"I prayed for this child, and the LORD has granted me what I asked of him." 1 Samuel 1:27

Four Month Stats: (at your well check on 2.7.11)
You Weigh 18lbs 12 oz (97%+)
You're 26 3/8" tall (90-97%)
And your head in 17 1/4" around (75-90%)
You've been in size 3 diapers not for about 3-4 weeks!

Baby boy (who's getting to be not so baby-like), we are completely in love with you. You're adorable, well-natured and fun to be around. You're such a gift to us! When we hold you and pray we thank Jesus for giving you to us, we pray that you will love Jesus with your whole heart Little Love. You bring so much joy and change to our home.

Mommy calls you: Tiny Muffin, Sugar Muffin, Little Lover, Sweetness and Happiness, Tiny Friend
Daddy calls you: Baby Bluvo, which has turned into "Shmaby Shmuvo" which turned into "Shmuvs or Shmuvo", Friend, Captain Cute (and I think one more smile- you'll be promoted to "colonel cute").
You often hear: Mommy loves you or Daddy loves you. Patty cake. My God is so BIG. Mousey's gonna get you. ABC's. Day By Day.  "Uhg or Uf-da"-as we pick you up (you're SUCH a chubber-bubbers!)
Noises you make: You have found your voice, and you make "brrrrrrr-ing, gooooo-ing, and ehhhhhh-ing" sounds ALL day long. You squeal. You giggle a little; I wouldn't call it all out laughing yet. You can cry like nobody's business (but you don't do it often). Once in a while you are also making more of a very loud, angry-ish cry. Not sure what that's all about.

You Can: Sit when propped up in your bumbo or with pillows for long periods of time (15-25 minutes). You also like to be pulled into a sitting position from your back, you think you're big stuff. Play with your hands and fingers. Study the room and people and things around you. You try to grasp toys, if we put them in your hand you hold them and chew on them. You grab and most of the time grasp the toys above you on the bouncer. You love to stand (with lots of help). You chew and chew and suck on your fingers (mostly the pointer and middle two on your left hand, pictured above).

Tid-bits:
The day before you turned 4 months and the week after you've been sleeping extra; it must be another growth spurt. (and had cranky spells and wanted to eat more).

We went to your 4 month well-check a few days early. We arrived, got checked in, and while waiting you had a monumental blowout. When mommy picked you up to change you it was all over you, your clothes, your car seat, and came dripping out your pants onto mommy's pants!  WOW- thanks for that lovely experience. The nurse called us into a room and we both worked on getting you and everything else cleaned and under control!  The rest of the appointment went well.  You even smiled at Dr. Miller.

One virus strain down- millions to go. You had the croup this past month, followed by a yucky cold.

Feb. 5, You went to church with mommy and daddy for the first time, you were amused by the singing, and people around you.

You stayed with a babysitter twice this past month and did great!
You give your smiles and coo-ings freely and frequently.
You also have more distinct solemn times- nothing will crack that gorgeous grin.
You received lots of fun Valentine's in the mail, you have many admirer's.

Feb. 19, 2011 you will be dedicated at Bethlehem Baptist Church, during Saturday night service. This is what we will be praying/promising: Asher together with your parents who love you dearly and this people who care about the outcome of your faith, I dedicate you to God, surrendering together  them all worldly claim upon your life in hope that you will belong wholly to Jesus Christ, forever.

whirling and swirling

I've had lots on my mind lately
I have a bunch of posts started and not finished
I keep dreaming about real life things- putting outfits together, lists, wording for new posts, new room arrangements, etc-weird (and I always forge exactly how it goes when I wake)
I'm not sure what, how or if to communicate these whirling thoughts
My mind is slightly fuzzy from a week of yucky sick nights with my little Asher-man (I wouldn't trade the moments though)
I desperately need to go for a run to clear my head
Found out that although 3/4ths of my clothes fit once again-I still have no dress clothes that do -I tried them all on last night -depressing

I'll get it all sorted in (and out of) my head soon- I always feel better when i type or write it out, so it must be done.

Stand by

I'm going to take a nap