grace based

Grace based well, everything in life, I guess should be the goal.

But before all my time gets taken by Little Mr. and I'm yet another busy mom off the blog rolls... I thought I'd post this.

I was VERY helped by this "parenting book".  No, not the normal Dr. Sears, Baby Whisperer, Nursing Mothers Companion, or Happiest Kid on the Block- although all are quite helpful in their own right.  This book sets all of the "how-to's" aside for a moment and focuses on the philosophy behind what drives you as a parent, family, and child of God. It summarizes beautifully many of my underlying parenting philosophies that have been developing over the years. (Through having little sisters, watching other moms and dads, lots of nannying, and just aging). [I can't say I absolutely agree with absolutely everything, but pretty darn close].

The book is: Grace Based Parenting By: Tim Kimmel

I recommend that you read it. But here are a few highlights that stood out to me:

• pg. 5- Since how children 'turn out' is far more contingent on what is going on inside them than outside them; unnecessarily tight boundaries undermine the desire of the Holy Spirit who is working to build a sense of biblical moral resolve in their hearts. Children are free agents who need Jesus. Basically God is not interested in 'moral' or 'evangelical' children, but rather having their heart. Rules in the the head seldom move to the heart.
• pg. 19- Grace based parents spend their time entrusting themselves to Christ. They live to know God more. Their children are daily recipients of the grace these parents are enjoying from the Lord. And are especially graceful when their children are the hardest to love.   Grace has eternal appeal. It effects how goals are developed, discipline is handled, fears are processed, quarks are dealt with and our response to fears. (pg. 29)
• pg. 54- Give love when child is unappreciative, doesn't deserve it, it's inconvenient, costly to us and painful. Rom 5:6-8
• Unfortunately western parents can afford to raise children in evangelical hideaways & create a spiritual 'disneyland' for them. This works directly against the development of an empowered relationship with Christ!  Goal- to raise spiritually strong and gospel saturated children! Inside the boundaries of respect and honor there's room for our children to be the creative individuals God made them to be. -That's how Jesus 'parents' us.
• Our parenting method is empowered by our confidence in God, rather than our concerns about the messed up world we're raising our children in.  pg. 212- don't be concerned with how other parents view your children, be more concerned with how God views your children.

There are soooo many more points that are note worthy. I was really reminded at how much grace has been given to me minute by minute by my heavenly father, and how desperately I want to model that for our kids. I want to show them how the gospel is lived out in a consistent and loving way each day.

My favorite chapters, if you only have a little time, were 5, 6, 7, 9, & 10