unpredictable me

5.19.11- Edit Update: this is a great post to ponder about Bible reading! "Do I have to read my Bible?"

Admission: This year I have been (unfortunately, sadly and self-destructingly) unpredictable and not faithful to be in the Word daily- or (*embarrassed) even weeks on end, for months now.

Shock, gasp and dismay-        I know.

I have no excuses good enough. I know I need more than to be fed from weekly Bible studies or listening to online sermons (which is as far as I've gotten). I mean, for heaven's sake Amanda- you're (I'm) studying HEBREW'S of all books! Doesn't this sound familiar? ---"you have become dull of hearing. For though by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you again the basic principles of the oracles of God. You need milk, not solid food, for everyone who lives on milk is unskilled in the word of righteousness, since he is a child. But solid food is for the mature, for those who have their powers of discernment trained by constant practice to distinguish good from evil." (Hebrews 5:11-14 ESV) Interestingly this week, more than once, God has prompted me to get back into the Bible so I can hear from him. Most often it's been while I'm feeding my little man his milk.  Because he's a baby, he's new and young, that's what he needs, for me to feed him milk. But what am I sustaining my spiritual self with?! milk? really? Why not the whole Thanksgiving meal- Turkey and all!?

Hummmm.  God called me to Himself at a very young age and I have grown in the knowledge of my Abba (Father) since then.  I should be a mature believer. Has the business of life, (and all of my *good* excuses- bed rest, hospital, new baby, feeling yucky, family, facebook, entertainment, holidays, attender of small group and Bible studies, etc) made me dull in hearing?! Have I become immature?  a drinker of milk?   I am out of constant practice.

So today I couldn't resist his call anymore; done with this milk phase. Back to the solid food! I'm sooo grateful my salvation doesn't depend on me, my faithfulness, my works, or my own desires, I'd be ruined for sure- but it's God's constant faithfulness and mercy and grace, calling me back to himself, having written my name in His book of life, and compelling and causing my desire to know him, hear from him, and become like him, and creating a longing to live with him forever. His steadfast love endures forever. (Psalm 118).

Amen and Amen.

That still doesn't excuse my responsibility to hear from him in the Bible.


So, I've found I'm an auditory learner.  I often am more helped and encouraged when I listen to the Bible spoken.  Often when I sit to read the Bible (which I still do, most often when I'm really doing a study or something) I get distracted.  So I've found this great website that allows me to listen on my iPod, or iPhone or iMac. and there's lots of different devotional guides for daily use. ESV Reading Plans. Last year I was using the chronological guide.  This really helped me to stay faithful in my quest to daily hear from the Lord. I would listen while I drove, or cleaned, or laid in bed.

Today I clicked my iPhone on to listen to today's reading while I was napping/resting.  It was 1 Corinthians 12-14.

1 Corinthians 12:4-6 Stood out to me. It's talking about one God being over all people and all their very different and unique and special giftings.  This became so real to Charlie and I over the past couple of years.  There were so many times that God sent just the right person for the right day.  Some days it was a meal, some days it was someone talking about their life and not mine, others it was serving us by cleaning, or listening, or a hug, or crying with us, or laughing or rejoicing with us.  The way God has designed the body of Christ is absolutely amazing, and I have chills right now just thinking about how real it has become to us personally. We are all empowered by the same Spirit! Awesome! (12:11) And all those many different members were arranged by God to form His body! We need each other. 12:21-22) indispensable is the word used.  And we're to suffer, be honored, and rejoice all together. But yet he allows us to remain individuals who must LOVE on each other.  With these things in mind, 1 Corinthians 13 reads in a different light.

OK.  I'm done with my devotional.  But just had to share in my weakness, and God's greatness and mercy and faithfulness.  I hope you too are called closer to our Abba today, don't only drink milk, scavenger for the solid food. Hone your 'powers of discernment trained by constant practice to distinguish good from evil'.