being held close, feeling secure and safe

Well today is a beautiful, sunny day in minnesota. Yet, another abnormally cool one for July. I've been enjoying the chickadees outside my front window, weekends at the beach with my love- Charlie, encouraging visit's with dear friends, reading, and wrapping things up at work and mostly processing all the feelings that have followed since June 30.

I will probably blog about the latter sometime or mixed throughout in the coming days. God has carried us a long way in the past several weeks; I'm not (and haven't been) in the same place emotionally for very long, it's been a journey. I'd like to type it out ---sometime.

I did end my time a BBC. (for now, in a "official" position anyway). It seems like God was clearly directing my heart to my home. -To put more pieces of my emotional, physical and spiritual self back together. I'm excited to embrace more fully being a wife, dating my immensely fantastic hubby again, running, cooking, cleaning, Bible study, projects, etc. It's really scary to say that I don't "do" anything (no job, kids, etc) when asked "What do you do?"; and by the world's standard that's so odd. But I hope that the things I "do" with my time in this new, scary chapter will hold many rewards in our future (family?) and strengthen my faith.

*giggle* Reading- yes, I've been reading. Like it's my own personal brand of heroin. I get home from work and sit and read, I read on lunch break, on my days off I run around the house doing everything that's only absolutely necessary - so I can sit and read, I take books to the beach, I discuss them with past addicts, I finish one and can't take a break before I start the next, Charlie laughs and shakes his head at me. *BLUSHING* ok, now I'm embarrassed. I'm not an avid reader, I generally don't like non-fiction, and definitely not of this genre. When I say what I've been reading -others who've read them will sympathize with me, I'm sure, the rest of you should just read them and get back to me. I have one word:

Twilight.

On a more personal level I want to thank each of my friends for standing by me (us) in this rough, dark road. I treasure the tears we've cried together more than you know. And more than that, I thank you for pointing our hearts heavenward, trusting in our Father's wise bestowment together with us. Thank you for caring for our physical needs with meals. Thank you for asking about and talking about and cooing over (pictures) of our little Bennett. Thank you for your understanding. Thank you for not discounting any part of his life; you've all understood how real and valuable he was to us. We are so blessed to have you in our lives. Our Abba has not withheld any good gift from us! This journey has indeed grown us- definitely in ways we wouldn't have chosen to be grown. But the keeper of my heart knows what's best for me; and what was best for Bennett. Each day heals my broken heart in a new way.

Lamentations 3:22-23

The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases;his mercies never come to an end;

they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.

This is where we enjoy our weekends. Where we enjoy just being together, being just us. Charlie and I have a deepened relationship. We've become more dear and precious to each other with each passing day. (and year!) On Sunday we celebrate our six years of marriage! And I wouldn't trade one year or day or circumstance or drama or kiss or moment of bliss! God has blessed me with one truly amazing man.