GO _________! (my favorite football team!)

Charlie and I got to go on a date to the once every four years match-up between Bengals (Charlie's favorite team) and the Vikings (My/our, also favorite team). I for one was a little torn about who to cheer for, but Charlie found what his true colors were- Orange and black. Although he still cheers for the vikings in any other game. we had seats in row 10 and Charlie's right foot and my left foot were on the 50 yard line! SWEET!

And I caught a football! :-) (after Charlie tipped it my way).

Skol ____ (vikings?)!!!

Pictures from Thanksgiving in AZ

If anyone is interested I posted an album to facebook. Check them out here.

It was a great time.

project water repair (update)

Well, I thought it'd be nice to finally post another update since the things happing this week are exciting and fun- you can actually see it start to come together!

UPSTAIRS BATHROOM:

(new vanity roughed in, tile on floor, tile on shower walls)

DOWNSTAIRS BATH:

(new lights in, tile on floor, tile in shower, vanity roughed in)

BUT- for a few more days we'll be living in our organized (?) chaos. I don't think we'll miss this at all...

As I type our new CARPET is being installed- today marks the end of our 40 days of sub flooring. Yippee!

I think we'll be nearly done on Friday! (I'll post again when there's interesting anything)

God with me

This has been a hard week for me emotionally. I feel blind-sided by the tears and grief. The day after thanksgiving was Bennett's due date, November 27. So, Thanksgiving day and the day after, came and went - we were in AZ. It was a great time together, filled with relaxing and family. The thought of the special day crossed our minds but didn't really evoke any emotions or feelings then.

Wednesday, the day after we got back, I opened the mail to find a large anesthesia bill - just now being sent from the birth June 30! That felt really inconsiderate to me, sending the bill so late and the week of my baby's due date at that! Painful.

The day after Thanksgiving last year we found out we were pregnant with our first baby, Ruttigar. (Who died January 11, 09) That loss, although somewhat easier than the second, crossed my mind.

I'm not sure how to say this (with GREAT fear of it being taken the wrong way) but there's other factors that have made this season hard (but joyful!!!). Several of my most precious, dearest friends and little sister are more than half way through their pregnancies. These babies have been longed for and we've prayed for their lives, for years in some cases. So to say I'm happy about it- THRILLED and elated even - would be an understatement. Really.

But I must admit that now, more than when they were in their first trimesters, it's tougher to see them. (I mean, I love to see their just popping, darling bellies); but it's hard too. I wouldn't call what I feel jealousy, or bitterness, etc. Just sorrow I think. (Girls- you know who you are! I need you in my life and I need to see you and be with you- PLEASE don't stay away because of this; I want to be happy and celebrate with you)!!!

We do want a baby. It's something you could pray about. But for whatever reason God has not given us that privilege yet (well, living outside the womb anyway). (And Charlie would say- If you think about it from a big perspective- it really hasn't been that long). BUT- it feels like eternity to me. Each day I want/ache for a baby more. And to have yet another negative PG test this week just SUCKS!

I'm trying my very best to stay balanced, focused, stable, and hopeful. But it's not been easy for me this week. I want God to be enough. I want to stand on his promises.

At small group last night we sang Christmas songs. Joe printed out the word to the carols I would always sing by heart. For the first time I really read what one of the stanza's was saying. It hit me perfectly, and describes my hearts prayer in this tearful, tough season.

O come, Thou Day-spring, come and cheer Our spirits by Thine advent here;

Disperse the gloomy clouds of night, And death’s dark shadows put to flight.

Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel shall come to thee, O Israel.

God with me.

this makes me laugh

I think it's my favorite "short" -go big blue bird dude! For the Birds

I'm thankful for... songs and emotion

We sang (and sing often) this in church this week. This summer I wasn't surprised at the emotion this song evoked from me. 

But this time I wasn't expecting it and it caught me off guard. It's not a bad thing, and I don't feel "bad" about it- just surprised. 

This song brings me to tears and resonates with my heart- it expresses my desire (at the very least). I'm glad God's still working in me.

  Blessed Be Your Name In the land that is plentiful  Where Your streams of abundance flow Blessed be Your name

  Blessed Be Your name When I'm found in the desert place Though I walk through the wilderness Blessed Be Your name

  Blessed be Your name When the sun's shining down on me When the world's 'all as it should be' Blessed be Your name

  Blessed be Your name On the road marked with suffering  Though there's pain in the offering  Blessed be Your name

  You give and take away You give and take away My heart will choose to say Lord, blessed be Your name

Every blessing You pour out  I'll turn back to praise When the darkness closes in, Lord Still I will say
  Blessed be the name of the Lord Blessed be Your name Blessed be the name of the Lord Blessed be Your glorious name 

I'm thankful for... House progress!

Sometimes I wonder why things happen. Sometimes it makes me wonder and think about God in ways I haven't before. Perhaps that'll be some post some time. I haven't wrapped my head around it all yet.

In any case, for whatever reason (or lack thereof) our house flooded 10.29, was gutted (see this post), dried, and since Monday the 16th has been getting a facelift - all caused from the little water tube on the back of the toilet. -but is all getting fixed compliments of our insurer! Praise the Lord. In the end it will be amazingly better than before. It's just that right now is a little rough (for the past 3.5 weeks!) But I see the light at the end- maybe 2 weeks! YAY!

We've been...

Picking out tile floors and showers for two bathrooms.

Picking out carpet for every last inch of floor on both floors.

Watching walls get rebuilt and mudded (may I just say I'm fascinated by that goop- I could watch them do that for hours! hehehehe).

We've lived through gross drywall-dust air and floors, all surfaces have turned white- so much for dusting this month! (our contractor has been amazing at keeping living quarters tidy and projects moving along though; as well as inspirational and helpful as we choose everything from tiles-to paint to carpet and wood! Thank you South Face, Inc! errrr..... Alex and Andrea hugs!)

Speaking of living quarters...

This is how we roll...

And we've tore out old, out-dated, cupboards (as I type at this moment our new vanity's are being picked up! YAY!)

While the carpet and trim are out (or are being replaced) I've painted a few of the closets I had conveniently skipped the first time I painted when we moved in... this also provided an opportunity to sort and goodwill a bunch of stuff. That's always a good thing.

And I'm super thankful I get to spend the afternoon cleaning then packing for vacation to Phoenix for Thanksgiving~ where we'll get to spend time with our cousins and relax in the warm desert air. Ahhhhh. A welcomed activity.